24 August 2010 @ 08:29 am
Neglect...I am a master...  
I have had this journal since September of 2001. That's a long, freaking, time. Especially considering my track record with website/blog/journal/whathaveyou endeavors. It's the one thing I've managed to maintain all these years. While there have been droughts, I've always managed to come back to it. And even though I seem to be maintaining over at the new pipe dream so far, I'm not ready...or willing to let this place go.

It's like my Blankie. My Blankie may be as old as I am, falling apart, and not even identifiable as a blanket anymore...but I'll never get rid of it as long as I have any say in the matter. It's the one single item in my life that has always, ALWAYS remained constant.

This journal is like my intarwebz touchstone. When all else falls apart, I have this place to fall back on.

Because I am nothing if not redundant.

I'm back on Strattera. And it's been giving me some fabulous cotton mouth. But it's still too soon in the process to tell if it's actually going to do anything for me.

Bob and I "exchanged" anniversary gifts. Yes, it's a month early, but we don't do anything the way we're "supposed to." And I say "exchanged" because Bob picked out and bought his own gift and then surprised me with mine. Because that's how we roll.

I've been WRITING. This is a freaking miracle. And while I have no idea how to actually START this story plan I have thundering around in my skull, I'm dumping out a lot of random conversations to cram into said story once I do figure it out.

In the meantime, it's only a matter of a few weeks now until Joe and Anne have their baby and we'll have a new little nephew to spoil.
mood: thirsty
music: the fan
where: on the bed
16 July 2010 @ 03:21 pm
Erm...I got nothin...  
Hey...this thing...whoops...

I guess I've been neglecting ye olde journal in favor of my latest pipe dream. I've repurposed my Get A Life Books domain for my latest pipe dream and have been tinkering around with that. Slowly. Right now it's just a blog, but my plan is to have that ever-expanding portfolio of...stuff that I've always wanted to have on the intarwebz. We'll see how it goes.

This is why I call them "Pipe Dreams."

THE PARTY came and went on Saturday. I haven't managed to compose a proper recap of said party yet, but things went off without a hitch and it turned out well and we had fun.

This weekend, Bob and I are going to my cousin Lisa and her boyfriend Rob's for a fish fry party down in Lonsdale and we're going to be SOCIAL TWO WHOLE WEEKENDS IN A ROW. It just might kill us. Hehehe.

In other news...

The Ritalin is not doing anything. I go back to Dr. Meyers on the 30th.

I have cramps.


We bought a GPS with some of our wedding gift money and named her Sheila. We will put her to the test tomorrow on our way to Lisa & Rob's.

And there was probably something else I was going to write about, but I don't remember what it was, so I'll leave that for another time.
mood: uncomfortable
music: TV
where: my desk
1 read 1  write  
29 June 2010 @ 01:50 pm
Friday was my appointment with Dr. Meyers. I told her the Vyvanse wasn't working and had lousy side effects. We listed the other drugs I've tried. She listed other options to try and asked if I had any preferences. I said I'm open to suggestions because I don't know anything about any of them.

The next experiment:


She gave me a prescription of 120-5mg pills and I'm supposed to take 1-4 a day to experiment with the dosing myself.

I took one pill today. I don't think I feel anything. I'll try two pills tomorrow and see how it goes. I'm trying really hard not to be skeptical.

I'm trying to look at it as this:

Prozac is a classic antidepressant. And it has thus far produced the best results for me in that department.

Ritalin is a classic ADHD drug. Maybe I'll get similar results there.

In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on party planning as we're under the two week mark...HOLY CRAP I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

And Bob and I have been asked to Moon-sit over the 4th weekend while the rest of the family goes camping. We'll have the house to ourselves and it'll be like having our own dog. We could be going camping too, but...this is me, and I'm not exactly the "camping type." So we're going to spend the weekend at home, being our anti-outdoor-adventure selves. We'll probably play games, and throw in a trip to my parents' house at some point to deliver party supplies so we don't have to worry about it when we're right on top of the party.
mood: restless
music: the fan
where: my desk
16 June 2010 @ 03:57 pm
How 'bout that?  
My mom used to babysit my cousin Doni's son Marshall from the time he was an infant until he was about 3 or 4 years old.

He's now 14.

Cripes. Time flies.

Marshall also happens to be on the Autism Spectrum and is very active in Special Olympic events.

This summer he is going to the Summer Special Olympic Games in Omaha as a part of Team Minnesota to play Bocce.

This is very exciting!!!
mood: pleased
music: the fan
where: my desk
15 June 2010 @ 11:32 am a very stealthy...thing...  
There's a lot of noise in my head today. I don't care for it very much.

Things I Should Be Doing:
1.) Cleaning this awful disaster of a bedroom.
2.) Designing baby shower invitations for Anne.
3.) Planning wedding reception party food and other details.
4.) Detailing the effects (or lack thereof) of my new medication for my upcoming appointment.
5.) Cleaning the bathroom.
6.) Something else productive.

Instead I sit here beating my head against the wall, pining over creative projects (or rather my inability to muster up the inspiration for them) and not getting anything done.

Clearly, this medication is doing WONDERS for me.
mood: restless
music: Dateline on ID
where: my desk
14 June 2010 @ 09:50 pm
Not the brightest crayon in the knife drawer...  
R: They've announced they're making a Dungeon Siege 3 game.

S: Did you play Dungeon Siege 1 & 2?

R: Yep. But don't worry. The games are NOT as bad as the movie.

S: There's a Dungeon Siege movie?

R: In the Name of the King?

S: HOW COULD THAT BE A GAME!? .... snzzzzzzzzzzgggttzzzzzzzz
mood: amused
music: the fan
where: my desk
13 June 2010 @ 09:21 pm
Federated Insurance sent a letter requesting a certificate of coverage from our last insurance provider because they are investigating whether or not to allow coverage of my appointment with Dr. Meyers because I might have a preexisting condition.

The jargon on the certificate of coverage states (at least the way I understand it--I could be wrong) that unless a person has had at least 18 months of continuous insurance coverage the HIPPA laws allow insurance companies to pull the preexisting condition bullshit all they want.

My certificate only dates back to 9/19/09...the date we got married. Prior to that, my last certificate cuts off at 6/30/09...when my COBRA ran out.

I have a gap of 81 days without insurance coverage. According to my certificate from Health Partners they disregard any coverage that is prior to 63 days without.

I really hope I'm wrong.

But at least Dr. Meyers was CC'ed on the letter so she'll know that Federated is trying to screw me out of coverage.
mood: nauseated
music: Bob playing Star Wars Force Unleashed
where: my desk
12 June 2010 @ 09:56 pm
you two should just kiss and make out already...  
Bob is playing Star Wars Force Unleashed.

Presently he is electrocuting Jawas. I am pretty sure one of those Jawas just said, "Fuckin' A."

Jawas, by the way, are extremely over-dramatic when they die.

I am doing laundry.

You wish your Saturday night was this exciting.
mood: thirsty
music: Bob playing Star Wars Force Unleashed
where: my desk
12 June 2010 @ 02:39 pm
not so much...  
Remember when I said that I'd temporarily suspended my pessimism over this new medication being effective?


That's kind of waning at this point.


I'm sticking it out until my next appointment on the 25th, but unless there's a drastic improvement in the next couple of weeks, I think we're going to be heading into another round of the "Let's Try This One Next!" game.


Oh well.
mood: uncomfortable
music: the fan
where: my desk
08 June 2010 @ 02:35 pm
five block town...  
Arriving in Arlington on Saturday, Bob was driving and I was on the look out for the street we needed to turn on. About five streets later, we were driving out of town.




It's not a very big town. It only has one cop. On the second trip through we found the street and the church and I spotted people I knew and then realized...I left the freaking card at home and would have to mail it. We tracked down Mom in the church and a short time later, the ceremony started. Aside from the incredibly bizarre and negative marriage sermon, the ceremony was nice, Rachel looked beautiful. All the girls looked lovely. Rachel had five attendants. Her three sisters, our cousin Jessica, and James' sister. And my cousin Jeannette's little daughter Audrey was the flower girl. She's about 1&1/2 and absolutely adorable.

My mom had gotten there early because she was in charge of taking care of my grandma for the day. Grandma is...95? She's still pretty well capable, but she needs someone to drive her around and make sure she's doing alright. Mom had also altered Jessica's bridesmaid dress so she'd come prepared with a few sewing supplies "just in case." Her preparation came in handy because she'd also come with black thread in tow and ended up saving the day for one of the groomsmen when he discovered that one of his pant legs was completely shredded down the back nowhere near a seam. (Smooth, Men's Warehouse.) That's my mom for ya.

The reception hall was just across the road from the church and Bob and I hadn't planned on staying very late, especially when my mom left fairly early to take my tired grandma home. But we ended up staying most of the night. We got a lot of congratulations from family about our marriage and Bob got to meet a lot of Dad's family. We visited with everyone and it was really nice to not feel like a complete outsider being around them. I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with the improvements in my mental health the past couple of years, but still after all these's a strange feeling.

Mom, Bob, and I were the only ones there to represent our section of the family. Dad was planning on going, but he's been having problems with one of his feet (the medical term escapes me at the moment) and was having a lot of trouble walking and couldn't even put a shoe on on Saturday so he stayed home. Mike was out of town riding roller coasters in Ohio. Amy and Dale had already planned not to go because the kids did not handle the last couple of weddings they went to very well. And I have no idea where Joe was, because Joe usually goes to family weddings.

Rachel and James had their first dance to Stand By Me which was actually sung by a friend of theirs. And then the DJ did a few of the other traditional dances. One thing I hadn't seen before was a "married couples dance" where all of the married couples in the room were called out on to the floor to dance and little by little dismissed based on how long they'd been married. First was less than a day. Then less than a year--Bob and I were the only ones to leave then. Then it was increments of five years I believe. He got all the way up to 35 and still had a full dance floor. When he called 40 years the entire floor cleared except for one couple (they had 44 years). He said he'd never had that happen before. It was kind of neat. Later there was a special request put in for my Uncle Jim and Aunt Karen as it also happened to be their 29th wedding anniversary that day--Conway Twitty's I'd Love to Lay You Down.

And FINALLY I didn't have to be the only adult single girl out on the dance floor with all the little girls when the bouquet was tossed because I'm already MARRIED. HA! THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!

My cousin Becky (who is also Rachel's twin sister) was all over Bob and me half the night. She's going to be in another wedding of a family friend the day of our wedding party so she's not going to be able to make it and she's very disappointed. But I guess the rest of their family is going to do both parties that day. Becky was out on the dance floor as the Electric Slide started and spotted me sitting at our table and gave me a look and it was all over. I was dragged out on to the dance floor and that was pretty much it. Despite the fact that I have no rhythm and can't dance at all--I DEFINITELY don't know how to do the Electric Slide, I was out there, looking like a fool, but having fun, because what else can you do at a wedding? Later Bob and I had a few slow dances and I was out there with some of my other cousins.

When Bob and I were getting ready to leave, I spotted Becky and stopped to say goodbye, she was very insistent that we stay in touch better than we have over the years. I know she'd had a few drinks, but she's also been one of the more outgoing of the girls. And she and Jeannette actually live up in this neck of the woods. She gave me her email address and made me promise to email her. (Which I still need to do.) I don't know how much will come of it, but it would be nice to [re]connect with family I've never really been close to.

My cousin CJ is supposed to be getting married sometime later this year. I have no idea when but I can only assume that we'll all be invited. There's been considerable DRAMA! involving my Aunt Linda as she seems to be getting crazier and crazier as the years go by. But she did call my mom recently to get some addresses for her. So we'll just wait and see. There's always a "feud" going on but it's not MY feud. I'd go for CJ, he's my cousin and he deserves to have his family at his wedding. Even if he didn't show up to Rachel's and probably wont' show up to ours. That's likely more his crazy mother's influence than anything anyway.

But anyhoo...PICTURES! (click the little-bitty ones to see bigger ones.)


1.) Faking the Electric Slide.

2.) Becky realized Bob had a camera on us.

3.) Little Audrey gettin' her groove on.

4.) Becky and Me.

5.) Our first wedding as a married couple.

6.) With Becky and our cousin Jamie. Little Jamie--who my mom babysat from the time she was 3 months old is now old enough to DRIVE. GAH!
mood: thirsty
music: TV & rain
where: my desk